Archive for November, 2005
Normal nineteen and
Ooh look at the big, red ,mushroom. I love mushrooms . They are so tasty.I would have eaten this one too , only if it hadn’t eaten millions of people ! I’m a vegeterian , you see.
One stupid guy ( a very good friend of mine) told me that a pimple was also called a ‘ zit ‘. What an idiot !A zit is a temporarily raised surface on the skin .Surprisingly he calls himself ‘zits’.Well, according to the definition , a pimple can be called as a zit. This little piece of wisdom was first introduced by my friend’s , friend’s ,cousin and this cousin got to know it from his friend. I tree to make a zit out of a pimple and after a few minutes of tension and banging my head against the monitor , I finally did it. Here’s how you get a zit from a pimple.
3.Sip ( 3 letters removed)
4.Zip / Sit
5.Zit / Zit.
Nice and easy does the trick. As I mentioned earlier , this friend of mine calls himself zits and I have a very good theory as to why…. He’s a really huge zit that’s growing on the backside of each of his friends and which is making settling down a real pain in the butt. Yo , Zits if you are reading this then don’t take it to heart , beacuse it’s a joke. But that doesn’t make you anything above an idiot. Yes , you are an idiot who is called an idiot by the world’s greatest idiots , namely , myself,Amlan,Siva and Thita. Oh no ,not Anil , he’s smart.Really smart.
He saw the Fantastic Four last night and he wanted to be the Human torch. Although he couldn’t set himself on fire he decided on the next best thing…. Head on FIRE. somebody please save him.
Mr.Sahu is the owner of a Coffee Shop on a certain Lipton Square.He is a very funny and superstitious man.One night when he was about enter his front door , a black cat crossed his path.”Oh darn! What am I to do now? Couldn’t the accursed cat have waited for another second !”, he thought exasperatedly.” How do I get in now?………….Of course the pipe! Sahu you are a genius. I’ll climb in through the window of my bedroom by the pipe.”, thinking so he started climbing the pipe. Now his wife happened to be reading a book in the bedroom when she heard someone climbing up the pipe.She deduced that a thief was climbing up the pipe, who else would climb the pipe to get into the house – definitely not her husband Mr.Sahu. She rushed to the kitchen and after collecting her rolling pin she hid herself near the window.She purposefully turned off the lights. Mr.Sahu had reached the window ledge and without another thought he entered the bedroom.
All of a sudden he felt that a grenade had exploded on his head , though he admitted to himself that he didn’t know how a grenade explosion on the hed felt like! And after a moment blows were raining all over him.It was as if he had become a punching bag , although he was being hit with more than just puches.He looked up to see that a mad woman with her hair flying everywhere and with a scream that was sure to break the lens of his spectacles was hitting him without a moment’s pause. All of a sudden he realised who this woman was.”Aaaaaaaaaaah”, he screamed ” It’s the witch of the caves , she’s going to kill meeeeeee”. And with an unexpected burst of strength he ran out of his bedroom.He grabbed the nearest picture of God , which in this case was Lord Ganesh, and waited for the bedroom door to open. The door opened slowly and instead of the witch his wife came out.
“My dear,dear wife. You terrified the witch of the caves. I know that I am terribly scared of you , but to think that you could have scared the deadliest witch of all is a miracle in itself!”, he said aloud.”What nonsense are you blabbering? Was that you in the bedroom?”, she asked. ” Yes it was me and if you had not saved me I would have been dead by now.”, he said. She remained quiet , unable to tell him the truth. “It was the Witch of the caves, the Witch of the caves , I tell you. And she was hitting me with her terrible cudgel.” As he said this his wife hid the rolling pin behind her back. ” I was almost done for but somehow I found the strength to run and I ran off. The Witch has cursed me and has marked me as her next target.”,he said . ” Of course not.”, his wife retorted. If it would have been any other day or any other time then he would have been afraid to contradict his wife.But today was a special day and time. He felt braver than ever. ” It was the witch I tell you.. She had Shyamlal gored by a black bull because he disturbed her when he was searching the caves for his lost sheep. She haunts the caves , you see.”, he paused seeing the look on the face of his wife.” He was gored by the bull because he was foolish enough to provoke it by throwing cow dung on it’s face.”, his wife replied. ” What nonsense! The bull couldn’t have been provoked by cow dung being thrown on it’s face , considering that it was it’s own dung. Your theories are very far fetched my dear wife , but I prefer to remain practical. It was the Witch of the caves who had him gored by the bull and it was the same witch in my bedroom today.Oh , I shall be smarting under the effect of these blows for months.” It was more than she could bear.Her husband had reached the zenith of ignorance. Although she didn’t want to she couldn’t control saying , “It was me who was hitting you , you fool.”
Hello to all the techies and geeks. The latest browser , Flock , is definitely one with stamina and power. It’s here to stay. It’s integrated features like blogging and photo sharing makes it one of a kind. It is based on the Firefox engine and has exactly the same security features. The current version available is a beta , so it is prone to many problems and is a bit slow. Only a bit.It’s speed can be improved by installing a plugin called Fasterfox.
It is the ultimate browser for bloggers because of it’s built in blogging features , if you are an amature photographer then Flock is your best helper. It has Flickr photo sharing which is a drag n’ drop photo sharing system by Yahoo! I’ve been using Flock for quite some days now and I honestly think that it has the potential to become the best browser on the planet. But there is work to be done on it’s speed and versatility and once the release version is out , there is no stopping this little bomb of a browser.Happy Flocking.
How are you? What a stupid question to ask! but you had yourself defined that every informal letter written in English has to begin with that particular question. I was just obeying one of your zillions of laws. I’m not fine here. Although I donot wish to come to you so soon , I would appreciate it if you did something to make my life better. To start with you could get me good grades in History.My history sucks , God. You could make me bit richer and you could give me a pretty girlfriend . You can even make me GOD for a day. But why do I fell that every time I try to reach you , my hand is mercilessly pushed aside. Why don’t you listen to my prayers in sunshine while you do whatever I ask you to when I’m in grave trouble ? Why do you whisper in my ears to try again , when I fail, whereas you could help me do them? Why have you made every man for his fate ? Why not change mine a bit? What… say it again?
Man is free – you whisper in my ears. He chooses what he wants to be and his methods of being himself – you say. You talk of fate and destiny and yet you say that man is responsible for his fate………… Please God , explain to me your various and mysterious ways – I pray. But you remain silent. I ask you to help me show the way but you leave it to me. I write well and I program well , but I can’t decide what to be. A writer or a programmer or , indeed, both. There are many ways in which you can help me God , but at the moments please give my blog a lot of hits and let the readers leave tons of feedback so I can improve my writing. Oh , I almost forgot , I had an accident today and I broke my leg , my bicycle broke , my books were destroyed , I was grounded for a week and there an earthquake hit Peshawar and hurricane Wilma raged in USA. I must admit that you created women with a vengeance. Each tries to outdo the other. Jealousy is in their chromosomes. Look at Wilma , she was determined to destroy more than her cousins Rita and Katrina and she actually did.
Everything else is fine in this little world of yours.
I know that none of you want to listen to adoloscent agonising but I’m really stressed and depressed. No matter how hard I study , I always screw up my History , Civics and Geography. I am the Emperor of English , the Master of Maths and the Superboy of Science but Social Studies is way beyond my comprehension. It SUCKS man. I don’t know why we are taught stuff that we are never going to use in our life. Maths , is of universal use and so is Science and English is the language of communication. Even Geography , Civics and Economics are of use . But History…………………………. Come on man stop kiddin’ me ; it’s of no practical use to anyone on the planet.(Other than historians). The stupidest man on Earth must have invented the most useless subject on Earth.(History). If there would have been an oppurtinity to show my intelligence through history then I would have been the Hero of History , but no such luck. It is one of the most unintelligent subjects in the whole Universe , not to forget dull.
The history of man’s evolution , the creation of the Universe , stars , the Solar System etc. is interesting. Yes it is very interesting to me , a person who hath despised History from the day he hath first opened that accursed book. It is political history that I talk about. How can we benefit our present life by reading pages pages pages on long forgetten European kings and Japanese samurais.(read dictators). Through the overall dullness of History a few events shine brighter than diamonds in daylight. Take the two World Wars for example. It is one of the most interesting and heart rendering phases of History. History is purely a test of your memory. Cram the whole textbook a night before the test and vomit the same during the test. It is a cause of immense stress to students. Stress which has pushed many students beyond the brink of existence. So I raise a hand for removing History from school cirriculum. What say??? Oh yeah I almost forgot. There are some lunatics who want to take up History as a career. No problem. They can study all the History they want in College. So if you are one like me,(profound History hater) then tap out a comment saying that you are with me. So long for now.
Yesterday I was going through the newspaper when I stumbled upon an article that threw a light on the menace of P2P networks and file sharing programs like Morpheus – the best of them all , Limewire – ranks second this one and Kazaa. Not only is music swapping (something which I often indulge in using Morpheus) rampant in these P2P networks like Gnutella , Bittorrent etc. but child porn still lives on! When it was banned and made illegal it had meant freedom and liberty for thousands of children worldwide and I had secretly prayed for those tortured pieces of eternity , but the news of child porn being rampant in P2P networks really upset me. I myself am a frequent user of Morpheus but my priorities are limited to music and video swapping. P2P networks should excercise some regulation on the kind of files being uploaded and downloaded, but that would underminw the entire concept of P2P networks which were primarily built for user convinience and for free availability of information and data.
Child porn is one of the worst abominations on earth. ( I can’t say about Mars or Venus cuz’ I’ve met no one from Mars or Venus). It curbs the freedom of the exploited children and degenerates them psychologically. They are made to feel that they are born just for what they are doing!!! Imagine how you would feel if adult hands had violated your body , which for you had been a sacred temple. How would you feel if someone had forced you and sexually assaulted you and made a video of it which was later put up on the net? Those who are victimised by child porn are not the children of a lesser god. Their god is the same as yours or mine, the only thing that differs is courage and psychological well being.
I want to spread this important message – FOR THE LOVE OF GOD , SAY NO TO CHILD PORN.
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