Almost entirely about pigeons

Posted on December 6, 2005. Filed under: Teen life |

A pair of pigeons have made our house their home. Yestereday there was a commotion in the kitchen , the pigeons had nested on the upper rack and were displacing the utensils in an attempt to move around. When I came to investigate the source of the noise they started hooting indignantly at me. If they could have talked here’s what they would have said……

“Utterly uncivilized.”

“Just look at them. Pathetic human, ordering us in our own house.”

“Go back where you came from , swine.”

“Now ,now dear. Don’t call them swine.”

“Why ? Does it hurt you if I insult them?”

“No. But I do pity all the swine in this world and they would all die of shock if you counted humans in them.”

“Just look at him. He is wearing that whatsits on his nose.”

“Spectacles, dear?”

“Yes that.”

“He’s pickin’ up the baskets , maybe to trap us.”

They fluttered around for some time.

“Ha! thinks he can trap us in our own house.”

“They are a degraded species, these humans.”

“Yeah. They can’t run too fast , can’t jump too high and worst of all they can’t fly.”

“You are nothing but degraded scum you human. You hear that! Scum!”

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Just think of what dolphins would say if this is coming from pigeons.

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