funny article

20 reasons why Harry Potter’s famous.

Posted on March 23, 2006. Filed under: comedy, funny article, harry potter, humour, love, movies, tech talk, Teen life |

I am putting down ,  20 reasons as to why Harry Potter’s so famous ! Oh , do remember to read my personal comments encased in the brackets.
 
1. Nowhere in literary history will you find a boy so blighted, so miserable yet rich as Harry Potter.

2. He survived a murderous assault by a brain-dead sorcerer with an extremely stupid name – Voldemort. ( yuck , I wouldn’t even call my dog as Voldemort)

3. A man called Albus Dumbledore is his hero. ( He’s got waist length beard which he can’t cut because they are stronger than steel.)

4. He goes to a school called Hog-Warts. ( All the Hogs at that place are full of Warts.)

5. He flies a broomstick. ( What happened to high velocity jet-fighters..?! )

6. He becomes invisible by wearing an invisibility cloak. ( Why though ? Is he ashamed of his appearance ?)

7. He has a lightning shaped scar on his head. ( Imagine being famous because your skins been sliced open..)

8. He uses a magic wand to cast spells ( What did you expect… a magic turnip ?! )

9. He hates a greasy teacher called Snape. ( Yeah , and he can talk to snakes )

10. His friend , Ron Weasly , has a jumbo sized family. ( Maybe Harry thought that he could squeeze in and nobody would notice because of the crowd. )

11. He protected the Philosopher’s Stone. ( What about the stones of the doctors, nurses , writers and engineers ? Who’s gonna protect them ?)

12. He speaks Parseltongue ! (  Whazzat ?! Parcel what? I didn’t know he could take to parcels !)

13. He was raised by his nasty aunt and uncle. ( Who else do you think would have raised him ? A couple of rabid wolves ? He ain’t Mowgli !)

14. He’s been wearing that same pair of spectacles for the last 8 years ! ( I thought that he had a lot of money , then why doesn’t he buy a new pair…? )

15.He’s got the biggest fan following of all time ! ( No wonder he always appears so windswept )

16. His cousin is a boxing champ ! ( Ahhh , all those years of punching Harry finally paid off. )

17.His wand has a core of phoenix feather .( Thank god it ain’t dragon heartstring. Or else he would have been called as Parry Hotter )

18. He killed a basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets. ( What else would he have killed ? A mosquito !? )

19. He was put in Gryffindor house . ( Why ?! Because the White House wouldn’t take him , silly! ) 

Looks like I left one reason ! So why don’t you people add the twentieth reason as to why Harry Potter is famous. You can give any reason , but just make sure that it has a funny personal comment attached to it .

All Smiles ,

Teen 

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Tammy tries to be Paris Hilton.

Posted on February 26, 2006. Filed under: comedy, funny, funny article, humour, Teen life |

From what I gather Tammy tried to become Singapore’s Paris Hilton by making a video of her making it out with her boyfriend. Tammy is a sweet 17 year old girl who was shot having sex with her boyfriend by a friend on a mobile phone. The video then made it to the internet and Tammy became very popular. Tammy says that she had no idea that the video was taken but we all know that Paris Hilton was just that other blonde before her sex video started doing the rounds of the internet.

Singapore laws are strict about underage sex. And Tammy Nyp was 17 , she’s in for some big time trouble. Tammy what was the need of screwing your boyfriend at school? Look where it’s landed you. Is there a lesson to be learnt from this…..

Yes their is and that lesson is – Sex at sixteen and seventeen can be injurious to your reputation if shot by a jealous kid having a video phone. 

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Just what I needed , a scare before my exams.

Posted on February 24, 2006. Filed under: comedy, exams, funny, funny article, humour, Teen life, Uncategorized |

Ok so the boards are only six days away and there is hysteria evrywhere I look. Kids freaking out and collpasing, articles on how to perform better in the board exams are available in newspapers on almost a daily basis. If you take time to read these articles you will realise that the person who wrote that is a shallow brained,humongous idiot who never got more than 50% in his board exam. These articles end up doing exactly the opposite of the tagline says. I’ll clarify….. The article claims that it will give you tips in helping to reduce stress and nervousness but at the end you end up feeling more nervous and scared then ever before. And some of those tips are entirely useless and impractical. 😡

Today is Friday and I got the Education Express supplement with today’s Indian Express. The cover article was titled as “Board Games” and it was written by Rekha Borgohain Dixit. This article was full of self contradictions and it was pretty scary for a student who will appear his board exams on March 2. Now coming back to the spotlight, by the time I was half through the article I was so thoroughly scared that I pictured getting horrible marks even after a lot of practice. But as I said, the article was so full of self contradictions that I was laughing by the end of it , having realised that this article was a waste of time and paper. Some quotes from the article………

The first haunting line – In case you find something too difficult , it’s best to leave it and take chances with the exam

What!? 😮 Take chances with the exam , you are out of your mind lady. You must sort out your priorities.

It’s no use mugging up chapters at this stage….

Oh yeah then I think you don’t want to pass your Social Science exam.

When you ultimately write the exam,you have t quickly decide how much time to devote to each section…You must be smart enough to adapt yourself to any surprises that the question paper will ultimately throw up.

The lady says that the students of India are dumbasses. 😡 By the way if she would have looked a little she might have noticed that she is scaring her innocently frustrated fifteen year old reader. This was the line that spooked me the most. She is saying that the question paper will throw up unkind surprises and that we are dumb enough not to notice it. Lady ,the question paper has as many surprises as ice-cream in outer space. And in the past three years unkind surprises are very few.This line was entirely demoralising and almost destroyed all my research on board question patterns.

Then she went on to emphasize the importance of the board exam and how it is the starting of a good carrer and bright future. She finally ended up the horror of an article by writing…..

Just remeber,the board exams are not the be-all and end-all of life.Not all big toppers we know were board toppers. Many were academically average…

She blew up the entire point of that article in the last line. Why waste your ink when all you want to say is the last line…? Waht do you think people?

Thanks for the Userbar Karthik.

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Why Cheney , why ?

Posted on February 23, 2006. Filed under: comedy, emotions, funny, funny article, games, humour, Teen life, Uncategorized |

” Vice President , Dick Cheney accidentally shoots supermodel”

What was the need of going on a hunting trip , I say. And that too with supermodel Luke Coughlan in the group. They went in pursuit of animals but Luke got sprayed in the face and chest with shotgun pellets. Thankfully , Luke’s condition is stable, according to the Hospital spokesperson.Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun and that Coughlan was about 30 yards away when he was hit in the cheek, neck and chest.

According to Cheney , he didnot see Luke ! ( eye rolls) Yeah it’s very difficult to see a person if they are wearing fluroscent orange jackets , isn’t it. Did anybody know that they were hunting women. Maybe Cheney thought that Luke was a woman. Cheney says that Luke came in the line of fire. Did anybody know that there’s a rumor that Cheney shot him just because he was more attractive and was the best contender to get the game!

I also hear that Cheney is an avid hunter. Whatever happened to anti-poaching laws ?

Well we all know what Cheney likes to hunt. Male supermodels! But America’s problems will be solved if Cheney and Bush go on a terrorist hunting game. Terrorists have a curious affinity for Bush , so Cheney will shoot Bush because he was the best contender for the game. What’s that hum? Must be America praying for Bush to go on a hunting trip with Cheney.

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