ANGUISH

Games we play !

Posted on July 30, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, emotions, Teen life, Wars |

The games we play are pretty obvious. Well duh ! We are dumb humans after all. We play games with each other every second , every moment. With every breath we play a new game. A game of wits , courage , strength , skills , emotions , achievments and all that typical shit.

We like to call this game as ‘Life’. Have any of you ever wondered that ‘ What is the point ?’ You are born only to die ! So why be born in the first place..?

Why do we acheive ,

why do we love ,

why do we cry ,

if in the end we all must die ?

Why do we feel ,

why do we learn,

why are we born,

if we have to return,

back to where we came from ?

Why is there pain,

why must we weep,

and mourn at death,

if we will die one day..?

Think about this and you will realise that how futile human’s are. Think about this and you will realise that every life is great in it’s own way. Be it big or small… Respect it.

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What lies ahead…

Posted on July 20, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, comedy, emotions, love, Teen life |

Today there was a sever blackout in my neighborhhod. This got me thinking about the days when there was no electricity in my village. And then I followed my train of thought. I realised , for the first time in my life, that my dad hailed from a very poor economic background. He decided to do something big with his life , he worked and today he is a bank manager. But what if he hadn’t and he had decided to farm like his younger brother…? Would I have been here today , posting this on my blog ? Would I have had any of the exposure that I have today ?

My thoughts led me to a point when I realised that life is all about making choices and sticking to them. My dad had worked very hard  , on his studies , on his character and for doing something different. He was a bit rebellious , just like I am. He wanted his way with his life , just like I do. He made the choices which he thought were best. Could he have been a more successful man if he had made different choices ? Yes , he would have. But he didn’t.

Now, it’s my turn to wonder if I will be able to do for my kids , all that my dad did for his kids and wife. I don’t even work half as hard as he used to. He is a sharp man , but I’m sharper. I don’t think that it will help , but I am better at making decisions , and once I’ve made one I stick to it. Again I wonder if I will be able to achieve all that I dream of. I understand that I will have to hold my reins myself , be both the horse and the rider. I know that I will have to work to be someone….

Just then the power comes back and I think ” What the hell ! Let me be me , at least for some time. TO hell with responsibility… 😉 “

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What Materazzi said to Zidane…

Posted on July 13, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, emotions, love, Teen life, Uncategorized |

I was up late into the night , watching the Live telecast of the FIFA World Cup final. I was completely supporting France. It was the second half of extra time and still the game was at a tie. Zidane and Materazzi got in a tackle and then Materazzi said some thing to Zidane and then POW ! Zidane head butted Materazzi and floored him.Zidane was not only given the Red Card , but France lost the cup . It was only yesterday that Materazzi claimed that he had insulted Zidane. When asked why , he said that it was because Zidane was “Super Arrogant” , in the match. When asked about what he said to Zidane , Materazzi said that it was ,

” Just an everyday insult , nothing relating to his mother or sister because a mother is sacred to me…”

, yeah right !

He further added that ….

” I didn’t call him a terrorist either , I don’t even know what an Islamic terrorist is !”

However , Jessica Rees , Britain’s top forensic lip reader said that Materazzi called Zidane a

“son of a terrorist whore”

, just before Zizou floored him. The Daily Mail also included the services of Lip Readers and reached the same conclusion as Rees.

No wonder Zidane head butted him , I would have killed him…… 😡

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The Da Vinci Redux.

Posted on March 20, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, Teen life, Uncategorized |

There is no doubt that Dan Brown , wrote the Da Vinci Code using the ideas of Richard Leigh and Micheal Baigent , which they published in their 1983 book , "The Holy Blood and Holy Grail". Well I’m sure half of you are in a mood to rip me apart. After all Dan Brown won the case didn’t he. But I can still prove that he took those ideas from the book. Why don’t I proceed with my investigation as Robert Langdon would , using symbology. If you thought that symbology is always done with careful planning and design , then you are wrong. A recent study by a Germany based psychatrist says that humans resort to symbology at a subconcious level to scream out their guilt. It was the case with Dan Brown too, although he might have done that purposefully.

First , if you haven’t read the Da Vinci Code , then you are in for spoilers. One of the main characters in the story has the name of " Leigh Teabing". The last names of the authors of THBAHG happens to be Leigh and Baigent. Throughout the story, there are puzzles and most of all amagrams. Wait for it… "Teabing" is a perfect amagram of "Baigent". In the story , Robert Langdon says to Sophie that Leigh Teabing is one of the best and foremost Grail historians. In a hidden way Dan was giving credit to Leigh and Baigent for The Holy Blood and Holy Grail.

Second , Dan made Leigh Teabing an Englishman. Is it his subconcious giving credit to Leigh and Baigent again, maybe one or both are British subjects. The relevance of this point….well Leigh could have been an American just like Robert , or french as the story is primarily based in France , but no! He had to be British.

Third, Leigh happens to be more learned than Robert on the subject of the Grail. But he also turns out be the antagonist. Leigh was a cripple , the symbology here is clear. The Holy Blood and Holy Grail wasn’t a bestseller was it? Do we have our reasons for Leigh being a cripple…

If you find this convincing or inconvincing , do leave a response and spread the link to this article as far and wide as you can. 

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God! How much bad news can I endure?

Posted on March 15, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, emotions, love, Teen life, Wars |

The boy who I blogged about , in my previous post passed away on Sunday morning. How do I know that? Well , I saw his family members carrying his body in a procession to the jeep , which would obviously take it to the creamtorium. Hindus are cremated , not buried. It was a terrible scene, that procession. I was returning from Sanskrit tuition when I saw that. All of those people , dressed in white, looked like phantoms on the lonely street. I felt as if I was looking at lost souls seeking salvation. Of course , the boy was the soul of the family but now he was gone, and so was their happiness. I saw his sister crying silently on her mother’s shoulder and at the same time , against myself, I was reminded of all the deaths that I had seen. My uncle, my grandpa , my classmate and now this !

I had never felt older in my life. Here I was ,worrying about my exams and just 2 blocks away a boy was dead , never to return again. The procession stopped suddenly and some people looked at me. I realised that I was blocking the road, I moved away in a desperate attempt to move as far away from that place as possible. But I caught some words which forced me to reflect on irony. The late boy’s father , was saying to his uncle that they were going to cremate him in Puri. I couldn’t help , but reflect on how ironical life could be. This boy met his doom while returning from Puri and here was his body going to be cremated in Puri.

Nitish said that people dying of accidents is commonplace and are reported everyday in newspapers. Of course it doesn’t affect you if some Tom,Dick or Harry died in a freak accident , but have you ever thought once that this dying person is someone’s father,brother,uncle and most importantly….son ?! I fear to imagine the grief of father, who has to see the lifeless face of his son. Think about this once and you will realise that every life matters. No matter how small or insignificant.

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Ironic !

Posted on March 10, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, Teen life, Wars |

I had my Maths exam  on the 9th of this month. Needless to say that I expect a full score. But there is one thing that I realised about life and it was very painful. It’s just the unexpected that surrounds us , sometimes sudden and unexpected things change our life forever. It’s just not fair , DAMN IT ! Why should all our work , all our planning vanish in just a second that feels like an eternity ? Maybe it’s another one of God’s unreasonable habits. Life is ironic , yes , very ironic indeed. Look at my aunt , for instance. She had a very happy family , a wonderful husband  and a brilliant daughter. But it all fell apart. Her husband was diagnosed with blood cancer and he died after the next three months. Why am I posting all this? It is because of a shocking news that I recieved , just after my exam….

There’s a boy who lives in our locality. He is around 19 , very handsome although careless when he rides his bike. He is a good student and had a bright future. Oh , he is a stud all right, half of the girls in our locality want to go on a ride with him. But all this was destroyed in one second of carelessness. Last night , he was returning from Puri last night with his girlfriend , riding that hellish bike. As usual he was without a helmet. And he had a terrible accident with a truck. He hurt his head real bad and right now he is in coma. There is no news of his girlfriend and the doctors say that his Occipital lobe is damaged and he will never be able to see again. Yesterday he was a handsome with a bright future and today , well , he is deep in coma and with a future as black as the night.

That’s how ironic life is. 

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What’s happened to Sonique ?

Posted on March 4, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, music, Teen life, Uncategorized |

Remember Sonique , the cool and handy music playing software from Lycos , well it’s vanished from the web. The last version available was the beta build of version 2. I have the beta version with me. I don’t know what happened , but I deduce that Lycos stopped the development of Sonique. It is really surprising , because Sonique was an amazing music player. The first music player to support over a dozen music formats , it had an eye-catching and easy to use GUI, an amazing colour combination and much much more. Sonique had more downloads in the first week than Winamp 3 , why then would the Lycos people stop the development of Sonique at the beta build of Version 2.

It had a huge fan following , which included me of course. I wanted to download the release version of Sonique 2 but I couldn’t find it anywhere. I Googled , Asked , MSNed , Yahooed and even Dogpiled  but I couldn’t find any concrete information as to the whereabouts of Sonique. I must admit that I was shocked. But then I searched it on the Wayback Machine at Archive.org , the keywords being – "http://sonique.lycos.com/download" , and I found that it was last updated on Feb 6 , 2005. After that there were no updates. Alas , my worst fears were confirmed. Sonique had been killed. For all those who are not blind , this is a screenshot of Sonique 2 – beta….

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Tammy found dead in bathroom.

Posted on February 27, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, emotions, Teen life, Uncategorized, Wars |

I donot have much to say excepting that all the publicity got to her head and she killed herself.

Want to listen to me singing Tanha Dil , click here oh and do tell me how it was.

Like I said Sex at sixteen and seventeen is harmful not only to your reputation but also to your life.

But check out this newspaper image……

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Is this the beginning of World War 3 ?

Posted on February 25, 2006. Filed under: ANGUISH, emotions, Teen life, Wars |

The violence over the Muhammed Cartoons has still not abated. The wounds are still raw in Pakistan and the injuries have just started here in India. A lot of violence was seen in Hyderabad last week. Students throwing stones at Government buildings and why…? Just because the Indian Government though it best to remain neutral on this issue. But all this violence has finally forced them to take a stance and blimey what a funny stance it is. The government condemned the cartoons saying it was ," an insult to the pious muslims , but it was not reason enough for all the violence…". But in case anyone hasn’t noticed , the muslim people of West Asia are very sensetive. They cried because their God was insulted! I mean , Muhammed was a Prophet , not a God. But still that doesn’t justify the violence. I scoured the web for what others think and found a very scathing commentery on Zipperfish. One of their popular toon scather called Reginold.

It was the most insulting thing I had ever heard. I never thought that racism was so vivid in America. 😡 I am with all the muslims who have to endure a lot in other nations because of the extremist activites of their West Asian counterparts. Reginold represents the mood of America ~ as a popular blogger said. HOLY SHIT !:x If they keep up this attitude then maybe they are calling their own doom. Yeah I know the counter reactions on the Right to expression and free-speech. But that doesn’t mean you can go on insulting other cultures. Remeber 9/11 , maybe the people do remeber 9/11 and are enjoying their revenge. But why should the entire muslim population be demonised becasue of some Muslim terrorists who only do one thing best…..DESTROYING THINGS. Come to think of it , WW2 was fought because of the ill handling of the Jews , then is this the beginning of WW3 because of an insulting Danish cartoon..?

PS: I AM ABSOLUTELY NEUTRAL ON THIS ISSUE AND PREFER TO REMAIN SO

.

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